Unboxing Videos: The cheapest way to amuse your children without buying them crap.

Pictured here is a young man named Evan – he’s the tiny mastermind of a mega-successful YouTube channel targeted towards kids like mine. With 4.6+ million subscribers and 3.1+ million video views, this kid is making BANK and it’s all thanks to parents like myself.

The reality is that I – like many parents out there who want to get a single damn thing done during a freezing cold Sunday – fall into that demographic of parent who has trusted our fancy little tablets to help us raise our kids.

If you’ve yet to venture into this territory because either you somehow don’t have a tablet or you’ve been fearful of feeling guilt or like you’re going to be a bad parent, let me explain how this process works:

  • Give child tablet
  • Watch as child connects to YouTube (preferably YouTube kids so they don’t stumble onto that shit you subject yourself to every day)
  • Watch as your child watches the DUMBEST DAMN VIDEOS on the internet including (but not limited to):
    • Unboxing videos – these are where other kids open and play with toys so your cheap ass doesn’t have to actually buy any toys
    • Blippi – Creepy 30 year old who pushes his lame products while singing songs that are incredibly catch and will undoubtedly haunt you
    • Family trip videos to fun places that you probably won’t bring your kid(s) to like Legoland because you’re too busy going to places like “visiting family
  • Go around the house and actually get things done – laundry, cooking, drinking a half bottle of wine. The important things.

At the end of the day, if you’ve ever felt guilty about entrusting these magical devices with helping around the house – don’t. Just like anything that is bad for us, you have to moderate the usage. You can’t rely on it 100% for everything because, in reality, it will create some bad habits if you’re not careful. Forget about those hater parents (including your own if they’re busting your chops), let your kid expand their mind a bit by watching all of the great content on the internet that potentially blows away some of the stuff you’ve been trying to do push on them the past few years, and take a few minutes for yourself to get yourself (and your house/life/whatever) in order.

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